So, let’s get real; love isn’t an easy thing. Whoever thought that love and marriage were rainbows and sunshine was wrong. Love is a beautiful thing; it just takes work and time and a world of patience and energy. But with the proper assistance, a good portion of your troubles can be solved very easily. Marriage counseling sounds like a scary thing. But listen to me when I say, it does not spell the end of your marriage; it could be the very thing that strengthens and saves your relationship completely. Here are some reasons why!
1. You Will Be Able to Refine Your Communication Skills
In every relationship, whether you are married or not, communication is the most important skill you should have. If you cannot communicate your feelings effectively, it will prove problematic in your relationship. Luckily, marriage counseling can help with that. They will teach you a few basic tricks to practice. Here are three simple tricks you would learn:
- An “I-Statement” is used in interpersonal communication, in which you would assert your feelings or beliefs, in the form of a sentence that begins with the word “I.”
- These statements are used as a means of taking blame out of a situation. Instead of focusing on the action, you are focusing on how the action made you feel. (ie. “I feel upset when this happens, and I would like for this to happen instead.”)
- Active Listening
- Active listening is as it sounds. There are times, during arguments, where we are too busy being angry, we aren’t trying to listen. So, active listening is the intent of focusing on listening to your partner, with an open heart and mind. If you and your partner find it is too hard to really listen, it is better to simply table the topic for the time being.
- When you find you are too upset to effectively communicate, finding an effective method of letting out all that anger can really help. You could take a long walk, or you could write in a journal. It is different for everyone, but it is best to find what works best for you.
2. Having A Mediator Can Make a World of a Difference
Let’s say that you and your spouse has been arguing and arguing for some time, and a solution just seems further and further away. Having that third party can help you both to see the problem from an outside perspective. With this third perspective, you can come to a happy solution, with little to no trouble. Having a mediator can also provide a new level of comfort, because a trained professional will always use a calm voice, and will always be positive with you. A recommended mediator institution is The Three Seas Psychology, they provide 30+ psychologists working across 4 sites in Melbourne to help you out.
Believe me, having this comfort and support system when letting it all out, can be helpful.
3. If You Have Unresolved Issues, Marriage Counseling Is the Perfect Place to Work Things Out.
In marriage counseling, you are given a safe and comfortable environment to work through any unresolved issues. You will be allowed to get out any unhappiness you might feel, whether it is with your spouse, or outside of your marriage. Once it is all out and in the open, you and your spouse will be able to work through these issues, with the help of your counselor.
4. Seeing A Counselor Can Help You Work Through Infidelity and Unfaithfulness
Being cheated on is not an easy thing; it is painful for everyone involved. However, if you and your spouse are willing to put in the work, seeing a counselor might be just what you need to work through those issues. Marriage counseling can provide the right nurturing environment to nurse your relationship back to health. Infidelity is not an easy thing to deal with, but that doesn’t mean your relationship has to be over. Which leads me to my next point:
5. You Will Be Able to Work Through Your Trust Issues
If you are dealing with an infidelity situation, chances are you are also dealing with some trust issues, which is probably putting it lightly. Or, maybe your spouse has trouble telling you the truth about things? Or maybe you originally had some trust issues from a previous relationship, that you haven’t worked through yet. Whatever the case may be, a marriage counselor can help you get to the root of these trust issues and find the proper and most effective solution to the problem. It will be a slow and painful process, but a healthy relationship must be built on trust. So long as you and your partner are willing to try, you can regain trust in your marriage.
6. Marriage Counseling Can Also Help with Blended Families
If one, or both, of you has children from a former marriage, blending can present a whole new world of challenges. Not only is it a new and different dynamic for the children, it can also be stressful on the marriage. A counselor can walk you and your spouse through this process, and help make the transition as painless as possible. It’s very important that the new family dynamic is explored in detail, so that everyone can adjust.
In conclusion, marriage counseling sounds scary. But, as it turns out, it could be the best thing you have ever done for your marriage. Putting in that time and effort, while having a healthy mediator there to work you through your hard times, will make a world of a difference in your marriage. As I said before, marriage can be tricky; but with marriage counseling, it doesn’t have to be. With all of this being said, I do have to tell you, it will not be an easy process. There will be struggles and heartache. But I promise you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is going to get better, and that marriage counseling will certainly help you get there. I wish you the best of luck!