Why Is Marriage Counseling Right for You?

So, let’s get real; love isn’t an easy thing. Whoever thought that love and marriage were rainbows and sunshine was wrong. Love is a beautiful thing; it just takes work and time and a world of patience and energy. But with the proper assistance, a good portion of your troubles can be solved very easily. Marriage counseling sounds like a scary thing. But listen to me when I say, it does not spell the end of your marriage; it could be the very thing that strengthens and saves your relationship completely. Here are some reasons why!

1. You Will Be Able to Refine Your Communication Skills

In every relationship, whether you are married or not, communication is the most important skill you should have. If you cannot communicate your feelings effectively, it will prove problematic in your relationship. Luckily, marriage counseling can help with that. They will teach you a few basic tricks to practice. Here are three simple tricks you would learn:

  • I-Statements
    • An “I-Statement” is used in interpersonal communication, in which you would assert your feelings or beliefs, in the form of a sentence that begins with the word “I.”
    • These statements are used as a means of taking blame out of a situation. Instead of focusing on the action, you are focusing on how the action made you feel. (ie. “I feel upset when this happens, and I would like for this to happen instead.”)
  • Active Listening
    • Active listening is as it sounds. There are times, during arguments, where we are too busy being angry, we aren’t trying to listen. So, active listening is the intent of focusing on listening to your partner, with an open heart and mind. If you and your partner find it is too hard to really listen, it is better to simply table the topic for the time being.
  • Self-Soothing
    • When you find you are too upset to effectively communicate, finding an effective method of letting out all that anger can really help. You could take a long walk, or you could write in a journal. It is different for everyone, but it is best to find what works best for you.

2. Having A Mediator Can Make a World of a Difference

Let’s say that you and your spouse has been arguing and arguing for some time, and a solution just seems further and further away. Having that third party can help you both to see the problem from an outside perspective. With this third perspective, you can come to a happy solution, with little to no trouble. Having a mediator can also provide a new level of comfort, because a trained professional will always use a calm voice, and will always be positive with you. A recommended mediator institution is The Three Seas Psychology, they provide 30+ psychologists working across 4 sites in Melbourne to help you out.
Believe me, having this comfort and support system when letting it all out, can be helpful.

3. If You Have Unresolved Issues, Marriage Counseling Is the Perfect Place to Work Things Out.

In marriage counseling, you are given a safe and comfortable environment to work through any unresolved issues. You will be allowed to get out any unhappiness you might feel, whether it is with your spouse, or outside of your marriage. Once it is all out and in the open, you and your spouse will be able to work through these issues, with the help of your counselor.

4. Seeing A Counselor Can Help You Work Through Infidelity and Unfaithfulness

Being cheated on is not an easy thing; it is painful for everyone involved. However, if you and your spouse are willing to put in the work, seeing a counselor might be just what you need to work through those issues. Marriage counseling can provide the right nurturing environment to nurse your relationship back to health. Infidelity is not an easy thing to deal with, but that doesn’t mean your relationship has to be over. Which leads me to my next point:

5. You Will Be Able to Work Through Your Trust Issues

If you are dealing with an infidelity situation, chances are you are also dealing with some trust issues, which is probably putting it lightly. Or, maybe your spouse has trouble telling you the truth about things? Or maybe you originally had some trust issues from a previous relationship, that you haven’t worked through yet. Whatever the case may be, a marriage counselor can help you get to the root of these trust issues and find the proper and most effective solution to the problem. It will be a slow and painful process, but a healthy relationship must be built on trust. So long as you and your partner are willing to try, you can regain trust in your marriage.

6. Marriage Counseling Can Also Help with Blended Families

If one, or both, of you has children from a former marriage, blending can present a whole new world of challenges. Not only is it a new and different dynamic for the children, it can also be stressful on the marriage. A counselor can walk you and your spouse through this process, and help make the transition as painless as possible. It’s very important that the new family dynamic is explored in detail, so that everyone can adjust.
In conclusion, marriage counseling sounds scary. But, as it turns out, it could be the best thing you have ever done for your marriage. Putting in that time and effort, while having a healthy mediator there to work you through your hard times, will make a world of a difference in your marriage. As I said before, marriage can be tricky; but with marriage counseling, it doesn’t have to be. With all of this being said, I do have to tell you, it will not be an easy process. There will be struggles and heartache. But I promise you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is going to get better, and that marriage counseling will certainly help you get there. I wish you the best of luck!

Show Someone You Love Them

Having a clear-cut picture of what love really is, or true love as some call it has become difficult in the present century as the modern world enlightenment which we can say has largely eroded human morality has also clouded the view of individuals on what love is. The birth of terminologies or adjectives which have been used in classifying or describing love has to a large extent revealed how much we seem to have got it wrong. We hear terms and sentences like “True Love”, the love I have for him is “real” or “deep” among others. This lives us questioning the veracity of what love really is or what it actually means. We are left with questions such as “if there is true love can we also have fake love?”, or “can a person’s love for another be surface level as much as we hear people also talk about deep love?”; all these I would say are aberrations by man as a result of deviation from the right order.

Love in its’ actual sense involves a deep feeling of emotion, but beyond emotions love must be seen as the measure of affection or care had towards a person which in the real sense should be immeasurable yet tangible. Love is not something vague but that which is known through actions. We can, therefore, say love is revealed in expressions.

Research into people’s ideal about “what love is” lead me to a classification system which I believe reveals diverse mannerisms in the expression of love amongst individuals over the popular belief that it points out a system used in classifying love into types.

Love for a person or group of persons may be expressed in diverse forms, from the love which is fully emotional or romantic in its expression which is believed to exist among individuals with strong sexual desire towards one another. Then there is the platonic expression which is believed to be a more trustworthy form of showing love because it’s without demands of sexual gratification. An expression similar to this is referred to as “Storge”, and it’s believed to be of more natural origin or said to be inborn and always directed towards members of same kin or family. This is love expressed as a natural affection among people tied by blood.

Studies have classified love into diverse other types which I believe only re-establishes my belief that love is one but could have diverse forms of expressions. A person could love himself alone or love someone obsessively; a person’s expression of love could be selfish as it could also be selfless.

An in-depth idea of how love should be expressed to each individual in our lives will go a long way in reducing the hurts and deceits which many undergo in the current generation. We would agree that the more love has been classified into sections and types, the higher the number of isolated individuals we have had, i.e. people feel more alone than we have had in past years.